Look at her, all sweet and innocent. It’s exactly what she WANTS you to think.

Awwwwww, isn’t she cute?  Isn’t she a sweet ball of innocence and sweetness glazed with adorableness?  She’s so playful and cuddly that it almost makes you diabetic!  She is entering a phase now where she likes to screech and scream at everything, which for right now is cute, but I can see it becoming a problem since we always laugh at it.  But how can you not laugh and smile at this little ball of cuteness?  She’s an angel….right?

FALSE.

As most of you know Abbey is the light of our lives, the apple of our eyes, but she is NOT all that sweet and innocent.  I will even go a step further and tell you that she is a hardened criminal in the making.  Hard to believe I know, she conceals it well in front of others, just like any sociopath but if you can catch her alone, she forgets to act nice and gentle.  As I was playing with her the other day I noticed some odd and disturbing behavior that I thought that I should share.  This isn’t the liberal media here folks, I am fair and present you with all the facts, and the fact is that if Abbey were 18 she would be likely spending the rest of her life in jail.  From what I saw she not only will be in prison, but they might not let her in general population once there!

I rest my case your honor. Abbey has Dolly in a pile driver while eating her foot.

So here is how the story goes, and you won’t hear an alternative since Abbey can only screech and scream at this point.  Yes you heard me screech and scream, there is no “inside voice” with her.  So I was pushing her in her little swing, just having a splendid time when I thought that she might be getting bored.  Of course she was, she has the attention span of a gnat and she was having to stare at my ugly mug for the last 15 minutes.  So being the nice father I am I reached over and found one of her favorite toys, or so I thought, and gave it to her.  It is a little doll that if squeezed in the right place will light up and play music.  Abbey’s seemingly innocent and cute face lit up immediately upon seeing her toy.  I handed it to her and then could only sit and watch in frozen horror.

She punished that doll like Jeffrey Dahmer would have punished his kids.  She took “Dolly” by her arms, legs and even head and flailed her all about.  Bashing her face and body into anything and everything she possibly could with clearly little to no regard for Dolly.  Then, as if that wasn’t enough, she started to eat Dolly.  Eat her hands, eat her feet, hell anything she could get in her mouth she would eat.  You would have thought Dolly was a Jeff Ruby steak.  It was appalling to watch.  And finally after munching on all Dolly’s extremities she simply tossed her aside like garbage.  Dolly almost looked sad laying there in a pool of drool that could have just as easily been blood.  I mean thank God she didn’t have any weapons, could you imagine what kind of brutality this child could bring with any wort of weapon?!

It was bad enough to have had to witness this whole ordeal, but to see Abbey’s face the entire time was enough to turn my stomach.  She was smiling, not only smiling but laughing, hysterically.  Like it was some twisted game that she had won.  Like this massacre was fun for her.  And to think she loved Dolly, what would she have done to a stuffed friend that she actually didn’t like?  And what is she capable of in the future?  I sat there staring at her in disbelief, she just smiled coyly as if to say, “step out of line old man and you are next.”  GULP.  I feel threatened by my 5 month old.

So let’s do that math, had she been 18 what could I have expected for prison sentence?

• Assault – Since this is a first time offense (That I know of) probably 2 years.
• Murder – 10-25 years with a chance of probation after 10.
• Cannibalism – Would have to be the icing on the cake.  This should get her life for sure with no chance of parole.

Is this what the future holds for my sweet baby girl?

Well the proof is in the pudding.  If Jesy and I can’t get a handle on this thing we are looking at having to pay for court costs, attorney fees and bail for a really long time.  I guess the only bright side is that we probably won’t have to worry about college or a wedding to pay for anymore.

(ps – turn your volume down or you will just hear George and me (mostly me) laughing)

Happy 5 months old my sweet Abbey Road!

Today, Abbey is 20 weeks old. I wonder what she will be doing next!

{En Route}

We have decided that we are going to fly for our first trip with Abbey and thanks to my pediatrician, George and many other moms online I feel like I have a pretty good plan for this leg of our trip. I have actually called ahead to Southwest Airlines to double check on the necessary documents that we will need to get Abbey on the plane and how to help Abbey’s ears pop while taking off and landing but the next big concern is the stroller and car seat combo as checked luggage. I’m sure it will all work out but I’m thinking of calling Southwest Airlines ONE MORE TIME just to be sure we are okay to bring the car seat and stroller with us to the gate and once we board the plane they will stow it away. Have you had to do this with your little ones? I’m just a bit leery!

{What to Pack?}

Packing for myself is hard enough and now I’m packing for a baby! At first I thought it was a piece of cake. I was actually able to fit Abbey’s Fisher Price Sleep and Play Rocker in the large suitcase and then her clothes would start to be packed around the rocker. But then I started to remember all the little things and it was starting to get the best of me. I would begin to ask myself, “How will Abbey take a bath?” “What if it is really cold at night, how many pants and long sleeves versus short sleeves and shorts should I pack?” “What about diapers and wipes?” “I can’t forget to pack her toys!” To be honest, I need to let this all go, it’s not like we are traveling to a little island off the coast of nowheresville, we are going to FLORIDA for crying out loud. Florida will have everything we Cincinnatians have so I can pick up the little things I forgot once I actually remember that I need them in the first place. The most hilarious part of this is that Abbey is now the one with the BIGGEST suitcase and the most baggage for this trip. The suitcase that will house her sleep rocker, clothes, toys and other accessories used to be the suitcase I used to pack all of my clothes and shoes. Out of all things I have packed for Abbey, the most odd one is her portable bathtub. I even think I went too far with that item.

Share your favorite (or most horrible) travel experience with your kiddos or share the time you first took your little one on the plane. I’m REALLY interested in that experience!

The weekend was up and down like Abbey’s fever. You could tell she wanted to play so bad but just got worn out quicker than normal. It is amazing to me how well babies handle being sick, she is a champ compared to me. However, we were at a point on Saturday night when I called my mom in tears, but that is what I do. Just like the Blake Shelton song suggests “call up momma when all else fails” and I really did need to hear my mom’s voice once Abbey threw up Tylenol for the second time after we discovered she had a 102 fever. This was also after I had called the doctor on-call for reassurance that we were doing the right thing and to just TRIPLE check that there was nothing else we could do for Abbey. I hate feeling helpless and really just wanted the doctor (or my mom) to tell me about this magical thing that I never knew about that was going to cure Abbey right away. As you know, that magical thing doesn’t exist. The closest solution was the Tylenol that ended up all over George and the living room floor.

Of course in Abbey-fashion she was still smiling and cute and let mommy do a mini photo session to capture my growing baby.

Happy 4 months old Abbey Road!

Luckily, late Sunday afternoon Abbey’s temperature started to drop on its own which was a huge relief for George and I. She is still coughing (so am I) which is still concerning but I’m hoping that we are at the tail-end of this nasty bug. To be safe we have her cool mist humidifier running all day and all night, the nose frida to keep her boogies to a minimum and these awesome Boogie Wipes, gentile saline wipes, to wipe her mouth and nose. Have you ever heard of these things? You can go to their website, join the Boogie Bunch and get $0.50 off.

Once we survive the first time Abbey has been sick I’ll be looking forward to her never being sick again. Obviously this is impossible but a mom can hope, right? Do you remember the first time your baby was sick? How did you cope? I’m pretty sure I won’t forget this past weekend, at least not for a long time.

a mini Jesy or mini George?

Abbey continues to be such a good baby. I am on to her tricks though. She is probably thinking, “I need to be a good little baby so that mommy and daddy want to have a baby brother or sister” and then Baby #2 will be rotten, haha! Case in point: Jesy was a good little girl and Matt was…well…let’s just say Matt is Matt (just kidding Matt, I love you).

I’ve read that once your baby turns 3 months old, you, the parent really needs to start talking to your baby so that they can hear the different tones in your voice. I of course don’t stop talking and have already started this fun game with Abbey where I make a squealing yell sounds. To be fair, it does have different tones so I’m still on track for what she needs. She is imitating us every once in a while but her favorite imitation is to squeal and yell back at me. Daddy doesn’t like this game so much, but he is doesn’t normally yell nor does he squeal!

either pre or post squeal

What else is going on with Abbey?

Let me tell you, this girl is LOVED! The cheeks alone get kissed at least 100 times per day between daddy, me and our babysitters. But how could you not kiss these cheeks? She is also quickly becoming a daddy’s girl. Most times that George walks in the room she flashes that big smile and he melts. She is beginning to look for both of us but she really searches for George when she hears his voice.

kisses from her daddy

Abbey is enjoying all toys but really loves her Eric Carle lady bug, Sprinkles the frog at her changing table and the baby Einstein lion from Uncle Neil. Tummy time is lasting longer and playing on her back under her activity set is a favorite place for her to be for a good 20-30 minutes. Abbey also loves her swing and can push the buttons on her frog toy that is strapped to the swing, George and I have the song stuck in our heads and sometimes hum it randomly.

look at me hold my head, impressive due to my large cheeks

Overall, she’s a keeper! Every day George and I wake up to a healthy baby and we can’t help but feel extremely blessed. I never thought I could be so attached and love someone as much as I love my baby girl. The moments we have staring at each other, little smiles while she’s nursing, playing in the bath, doing our “Good Morning” song first thing when she wakes up and the giggle I get when we say “beep beep” as I point to her nose…..oh the list goes on! As I tear up a little because I can’t believe how fast it all going, enjoy these other photos of our little Abbey Road.

I'm on a bike with Uncle Rick

I love to play and press buttons

taking a snooze on Grandpa Bird

I'm 3 months old

Last Thursday evening, @BellorZ (a.k.a. Zach from Lebanon Ford) dropped off the 2012 Ford Explorer to help kick off Lebanon Ford’s Drive One 4A Week Program and after a tutorial from Alex with the myTech Team I was ready to “explore” with my temporary Explorer.  One of the many cool things about this campaign is that Lebanon Ford really makes you feel like this vehicle is truly YOUR vehicle for the week. When Alex was giving me a tutorial on the Sync technology (which we’ll get to in a bit) he loaded my phone and all my contacts so that I really was able to experience the Explorer and all the features that came along with it.

{My #Ford #Explorer #Driveone Experience}

The past week was similar to any other week in regards to my driving habits; I was up to my parent’s house at least once, up to George’s parent’s house at least once, to the grocery store, back and forth to work and other extras like going to The Black Keys concert and picking up George’s dad from the Dayton airport. Needless to say I used my approximately 250 miles and one free tank of gas to almost the last mile (there are 25 miles left until empty). My family of three enjoyed the Explorer and the space that we had when others were in the car with us. So many features that I loved with the Explorer, check out my list below.

LOVE

• Key-less engine start up – was a bit odd to get used to but really loved that you could just get in, press the brake and push the “Start Engine” button then go. 
• Remote start – SOOOOO nice to have on the cold day especially with Abbey.
• Third row seating
• Heated seats – woah, loved the toasty buns! Pretty much going to be a must in my next vehicle.
• Huge sun roof – In Cincinnati you could have the sun roof open one day and the heated seats on the next and that is pretty much what happened this week.
• Many safety features including “air bag” seat belts.
• Reverse safety was another favorite feature, when the Explorer was put in reverse you could view the area through the rear camera when you were backing up. I could quite literally prove to my husband that I was NOT the one driving through the yard when I was backing out of the driveway because the proof was right in front of his eyes. Of course I still get blamed
• Part of the reverse safety and back up camera was also the feature of having the Explorer tell you when a car was coming and to stop backing up. Let me paint the picture for you: You are at Kroger in Blue Ash during a peak grocery shopping time. You get all the groceries packed up and you are trying to reverse out of your parking spot. If you know the Blue Ash Kroger you know that cars are coming from every direction and you pretty much need to have your head on a swivel to remain safe. Not with the Explorer! The Ford Explorer will tell you that a car is coming from the left or right and it helps you to not be a victim of the mad mom’s in their mini vans doing 90 mph in the parking lot. 
• Blind spot safety was also pretty cool. When you were on the highway you could check your side mirrors for an orange light to show up when it was not safe to change lanes, meaning some car was in your blind spot.
• Did I mention the “trunk” space? The back of the Explorer (while the third row seats are up right) has a great amount of room. I was able to get my normal grocery shopping trip packed into the trunk with no problem. But if we did need to haul a heavier load, the seats easily fold down or can be stowed so that you have a flat space with just a push of a button.
• Another great “trunk” feature that was a favorite was the ability to push a button to open the rear latch or push another button and it closed. When I picked my father-in-law up from the airport, it was easy to pop open the back latch for him to drop in his luggage then press the button again for the latch to close all while I was in the driver seat.

I haven’t even got to the best part…..

• Sync technology is super cool! Syncing my iPhone to the Explorer took all of minutes then syncing George’s phone was all very simple too. We were both able to sync our phones but would need to choose which was connected at one given time for phone calls, makes sense. I really did love that I could connect my phone with bluetooth and all calls coming in and going out were extremely clear. Never did I have anyone complain that they could not hear me. And TRUST me, I used this feature a LOT. Friday during the tornado-like storm I was talking with one member of my family at all times and not once did I lose connection or have a problem hearing them. This was a handy feature so that I could concentrate on white-knuckling the steering wheel to get to a safe place. 

Needs Improved

• The design for the console and “main control” area didn’t really give room for my iPhone. Sure I could stow it away (and maybe that is what they want you to do) but as user friendly the Explorer was to sync with my phone I could never find that right spot to stow it while driving. I just sort of let it sit in a cup holder until we had those both utilized.
• I mentioned that we had a great amount of space above (we could fit more people) but then there was the space with the Abbey’s car seat. We put Abbey behind the passenger seat but in order for it to fit we had to move the passenger seat up to accommodate the space the car seat needed just to snap into the base. I could see this being an issue with more than one car seat and having to put a car seat behind the driver, what if the driver had long legs? 
• Although I loved the Sync technology there is still room for improvement. This is mostly the case with all technology which is the beauty of it because you can always make it better. There were times when my phone would be connected and I could make calls with it but for some reason I couldn’t listen to my music. Little things like that would happen. We did figure out that you would need to have the Explorer in park and that would help sync up the music but again, slightly annoying.
• The screen or what I was calling the “Main Controller” has mini dots all over it from my finger prints and that drives me CRAZY! Of course the main controller is touch screen so you are touching it to make either a change in the interior climate or make a phone call (you can also use the steering wheel for this – LOVED that) so it is inevitable for it to get dirty. How would you keep that clean?
• Hard to get money out at the ATM when you are 5′ 2″ but that could be a height challenge more than a Ford Explorer problem

For the lawyers: In full disclosure Lebanon Ford gave me a $25 PF Chang Gift Card for my family and I to enjoy some dinner during the #driveone campaign. Thank you again Lebanon Ford! 

2 month picture outfit #1

So here we stand, 2 months old and 1 day or 9 weeks old from birth. Abbey is changing so much every day and I really enjoy it when someone hasn’t seen her in a week and then tells me how much she has changed and what they now notice about her. I like to know if what they notice and what I notice are similar. One thing is for sure, she is getting BIG! I was talking with my mom last night and mentioned to her that Abbey was lying propped up in her boppy (right next to me of course) and her legs were now poking my sides when I’m sitting right next to her. Gosh, I can remember (just two months ago) when she would fit so snuggly in that thing and could literally get lost in the boppy because it would swallow her right up.

not as happy with mommy for 2 month picture outfit #2

As I carried Abbey in her car seat into the doctor’s office I was amazed at how heavy it was and how much I was struggling to carry her. I just kept thinking that she would have to weigh in today at 12 pounds but then I was thinking that 12 pounds seemed like so much. But sure enough, the nurse weighed Abbey in at MORE than 12 pounds and laughed at my guess. Abbey actually weighs 13 pounds and 2 ounces, what a healthy and very big girl. She has also grown an inch since her last appointment and is now 23 inches long. Abbey’s doctor, Dr. Somsak, was very pleased with the growth and development since Abbey’s last appointment and rewarded her with (gasp) shots! Abbey cried and then I started to tear up and the nurse had to ask if I was okay. I know I’m not the only new mommy to cry when seeing their baby get shots and then immediately wail in pain. These shot were originally a huge concern of mine but I have to say, Dr. Somsak talked me through each and every one and helped me feel more comfortable about Abbey getting her vaccinations. Mini plug, if anyone is looking for a warm and caring doctor that listens to each and every thing you say then gives the BEST explanations, you should check out Dr. Somsak. I don’t think this is the first time I’ve talked about her on this blog. Did I mention she tweets?!?! Perfect match for me!

What else is Abbey doing at 2 months old? She is cooing, smiling, batting at various toys when lying on her activity mat (thank you Robin and Mark Miller), holding her head up, blowing bubbles, finding her hands/fingers and putting them into her mouth and is a never-ending source of entertainment for George and me.

got to love our red eyes!

Cool Thing #1: 

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 15,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Cool Thing #2:

The top 5 most active commenters were these lovely ladies

Thank you Sandy! Thank you Aunt Sue! Thank you Shari! Thank you Carol (MOM)! and last but not least Thank you Erin!

Cool Thing #3: 

Facebook was our biggest referrer for our blog. So most of you that came to our blog was because we lured you in through our Facebook account.

Cool Thing #4: 

The most popular blog in 2011 was the blog about George’s tattoo. In case you didn’t catch that one, you can read it here.

Cool Thing #5: 

One of the most popular search terms used to find our blog was, “Abbey Road.” How appropriate?

Thank you to our audience, you have all been instrumental in each an every one of our 56 blog posts that were created in 2011. We hope you continue to enjoy The Herron’s through 2012.

1. Thank you to a very generous and kind friend, Amy Broghamer, we received a special package just a few days after being home with Abbey. Amy and her son Dexter sent Abbey a new contraption for her to sleep in at night. It is a GOD-SEND! It’s a sleeper called, Fisher-Price Newborn Rock ‘n Play Sleeper and you can get one under $40.00 online at Amazon (click here).  Abbey was doing pretty good in her co-sleeper but this rocking sleeper has an incline and more cozy and snuggled feel for the baby. Also, since she has been snorty-torty (thanks Julie for this term) the incline has really helped her to be more comfortable at night which helps me sleep better knowing that she can breathe.

2. Breastfeeding or not you will want to purchase (or register for) a Boppy. These half-moon looking pillows are great for those who are breastfeeding but can also serve as a rest to the arms when holding your baby if bottle feeding or just holding your baby. Other great uses (may not be recommended by Boppy) would be tummy time and a great lounger for your baby so they can sit up at an incline to play with toys and interact with you. Again, these last few suggestions are probably not recommended and I would always say to make sure you are with baby at all times when using the “bop” as we call it in our house.

3. A new favorite of Abbey (therefore our favorite too) would be her mobile attached to her crib. Abbey hasn’t started using her crib to sleep yet because she is still in her sleeper rocker but she received the coolest mobile for Christmas and so we use it for entertainment and development/learning time for Abbey. Her mobile is a Tiny Love brand and the particular one Abbey has can be purchased at Amazon (here is the link) which is worth it for 30 minutes of cooing (YES, she is completely entertained for 15-30 minutes with this thing) and sheer entertainment for her. She loves to follow all the objects as they go in circular motion around her head. This particular model comes with a remote control that we hung on Abbey’s door for a quick way to buzz it on or off. I highly suggest to check this out.

Fast asleep in her bouncer.....aww cute!

4. Other “baby contraptions” that are great to put baby down for a few minutes to shower, pee, eat dinner or just have a breather away from baby would be a swing or bouncer seat. George and I are lucky that Abbey loves both her swing and bouncer seat and each serve as great nap spaces too. Abbey’s bouncer was selected by George and he did a great job. It’s called The Automatic Bouncer and its made by Bright Stars. Just like anything else with newborns each baby thing is new to the baby too. It took many 2-5 minute intervals in each baby contraption for Abbey to get used to liking the time apart from mom and dad. Abbey’s swing was pre-loved by her cousin Mason but it is a Graco and can recline so she is able to take great naps in it as well. Both are great investments or good items to ask other mom’s if it can be borrowed for your baby.

5. My moby wrap is WONDERFUL! This is probably the most granola thing I own but I don’t care because it is fabulous. I remember the first time I was introduced was by my best friend from college, Erin. She had her newborn baby out to visit a few summers ago while we were traveling through Maumee for a baseball tournament and he was getting a bit restless in his stroller while we were standing around so Erin whipped out this crazy long piece of cloth and started to drape it around her body. I was floored. How the hell could a piece of long cloth hold up a baby and be secure enough to trust. You can check one out here: http://www.mobywrap.com/ oh yea, dad’s are hot when they wear them…or at least I think George is hot when he wears it snuggling with his daughter!

I know I said Top 5 list but when have you known me to not be overly-chatty…..right! So here are a few other items that are now staples or helpful in our house.

~ The “Shhhhhh” app downloaded from iTunes to my iPhone that automatically shhhhh’s Abbey in the middle of the night  when she makes noises using my recorded voice. Genius!

~ Nose Frida – Thanks to my friend Ali for turning us on to this snot sucker. LITERALLY! Check it out 

~ Halo Sleep Sack has been great to keep Abbey swaddled and warm at night. We have a few different ones to choose from, ie: light weight vs heavier for the colder nights.

Don’t forget to share your favorite item or items that worked great for you and your baby. OR you could always share what didn’t work so great, perhaps a wipes warmer? Who had one of those and thought it was a great idea (don’t be shy)?