Yesterday a diaper party was thrown in my honor. A what you might ask? As did I the first time I heard about it. As a matter of fact here is a short list of things I thought it could be:
- A party where strippers show up in nothing but diapers. Clearly I was stretching on this one, but a man can dream.
- A party where I had to wear a diaper the entire time while my friends made fun of me. If you knew my friends and family, this was definitely on the table.
- A party where several diapers are passed around with “concoctions” in them and I had to identify what exactly was in them.
- A party where everyone had to wear a diaper and the first one to fill the diaper won….and lost. I think we all knew John Wenstrup (father-in-law) would have won this game running away so it was decided not to bother.
Well, as it turns out it is none of those things. A diaper party is like a mix between a bachelor party and a shower, but for a man. On the day of your wife or significant other’s baby shower men will congregate at a designated location, drink beer, play cornhole, watch football and eat food. Oh, and they have to bring a pack of diapers for the expectant father. It’s pretty ingenious to be honest. I mean most of the men’s wives are going to be at the shower, so what else were they really going to do? Sit around, watch football, eat food and maybe scratch themselves. So instead of scratching they can get their “exercise” by playing cornhole, or losing in cornhole to anyone that played CJ and I yesterday, instead of scratching their unmentionables. For my diaper party we even added a new wrinkle of playing a round of frisbee golf before the day of gluttony could begin. It was a spectacular day.
Highlights of the day:
- Paul throwing his frisbee into the woods on the first hole. Then, after taking a do-over he did the exact same thing.
- Beating Mark Hannah for the third straight time in frisbee golf. He got me interested in the game and I used to never beat him and I would never hear the end of it. So, it feels pretty good to kick his ass.
- Jim Wenstrup didn’t show up until the 12th hole and on his first throw got his disc stuck in a tree that took 4 people 15 minutes to get un-stuck. Talk about a momentum killer.
- Watching John hit a tree that was maybe ten feet in front of him was pretty funny. But watching CJ hit the exact same tree not 2 minutes later was hysterical!
- CJ and I owning fools in cornhole all day long. We lost once, maybe our second game, but after that we tore through anyone that was willing to take us on. We went through teams like Charlie Sheen goes through stripper girlfriends, WINNING!
- All the food was gluten-free and delicious, which was awesome. A special thanks to my mother-in-law, Carol Wenstrup, and Jami White for all the preparation.
- Golf cart rides around Matt’s neighborhood. Specifically with Corey and his Captain America sweatshirt on (with the mask on mind you). We got some pretty strange looks, but there was a neighbor in particular that just glared at us, he might have been a Nazi?
- Thanking Corey at the end of the party for sticking around the entire time, knowing that he had a long drive back up to Dayton, only to realize that I was his ride back to my house where his car was! I felt like an ass!
Lowlights of the day:
- Not winning frisbee golf at my own party. Jared won with an impressive -20. No one could touch that. I was closest with a -14. Thanks a-hole, no more frisbee golf invites for you.
- After having to listen to Brian talk smack all day about how good he was in a game called “washers” I decided to play him to shut him up. I wanted to destroy him, just to put him in his place. I lost. Now he can talk smack all day long and it is completely justified. I made a bad situation WAY worse.
- Jimmy Baur showing up sans diapers. Talk about a party foul.
- Not only did I lose in fantasy football this week, I got crushed. I got crushed by someone who was starting two players on byes. Oh and I lost my best running back in the first quarter of the Raiders game and probably for a couple more weeks after.
It was a great day and something I recommend for every father to be. Not only does it give you an opportunity to hang out with all your dudes one last time before a baby consumes your life, it’s a great way to stockpile diapers for the months and years to come. Diapers are expensive and this is just one less cost and worry that new parents stress over. I can’t thank my brother-in-law, Matt, enough for putting this together for me, just an awesome day, with awesome people, and Paul.
And a last special thanks to the Eskimo brothers, Rick and Corey for stopping at my house after the party and helping unload the metric ton of stuff that Jesy brought back from her last shower. I would still be unloading all that stuff right now if not for your help. You guys are coming back when I have to move it all back upstairs right?